People judge more than they understand. People criticise more than they appreciate.

FACTS: I had a c-sec. I had to formula feed my baby the first day he arrived in the world because I had not started lactating. I want to get back on my feet. I want a career. I suffered from a bad case of PPD. I do not feed junk to my son. I do not let my son have sugary stuff. I am not depriving him by eliminating screen time. I prefer to give my son fruits over biscuits. I carry my son. I let him cry it out than giving in. I want my son to sleep in his own bed. I want my child to start playschool. I crave some me-time. 

Go ahead – judge me!

We all do. We may not accept or openly admit the fact, but we all have judged another mom at some time or the other and more often than not. I have too. Yes maybe judged you too. Would you like to know in what ways? Maybe not, because those are the same ways you have judged me too.

STOP and think. Think back to the when the mom you were so busy gossiping about could have instead used a friend because she was emotionally drained, or some help because she was bone-tired from chasing her toddler all day. But all she received was snickers and frowns.

We need to stop judging!

• Csec doesn’t make a woman any less of a mother.
• A mother would rather feed her child formula than let him starve.
• Motherhood does not mean you lose sight of who you are.
• Wanting to pursue your career does not mean you don’t love your child
• PPD is real. It paralyzes your senses
• How I feed my child should be my worry. I don’t expect you to take my approval on what you feed your child. Why would you think I would need yours?
• Wanting me-time does not mean I don’t care for my baby
• I am with him 24 hours, seven days a week. I know how to handle my child in public too.

What is funny is that we are quick to judge other mommies for the same situations we have been stuck in.

Remember mommies, the only person who knows your child best is you, that only you know how to raise your kid. Let’s stop mom-judging. Knowing that you are not alone is a big assurance to a mother’s spirit.

We need to STOP! There is no good or bad way of parenting, only mommies trying to give their best. And unless you are a perfect mother who has never faulted once in her journey, you have no right to judge another mommy.

Bottom line is, we are all doing our best. Just because I do it differently from you doesn’t mean I am doing it wrong.

We are all on this crazy roller-coaster together. Our aim is the same. Let’s do this together by supporting each other instead of pulling each other down. United we stand, divided we crawl.

The post United we stand, divided we crawl appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Make summers fun with drinks for kids to beat the heat and the sweltering, mercury-busting temperatures with home-made healthy drinks.

Sharing with you all my top 5 favorites, easy to make, loved by kids “drinks”:

**These drinks are recommended for toddlers and kids. Some fruits are a strict no=no for children under one. SO be sure to check with your pediatrician before trying.

1. Lemonade – Nothing beats the good old lemonade. It is called the official drink for summers for a reason. Not just refreshing but also nutritious. You can add a twist to it by adding different ingredients to it like:
   • Mint
   • Edible lavender
   • Orange
   • Ginger
2. Smoothies – Be it breakfast, snack or dessert, smoothies not only keep you hydrated but is also filling.
   • Banana Smoothie – Easiest and toddler approved. Add diced banana and milk (you can use soy milk too) to a blender. Blend until the ingredients are combined and smooth. And tada..! Its ready to be served. Depending on your child’s taste buds, you can add your choice of sprinkles. To make variations of this smoothie, simply replace the fruit with another.
   • Mango smoothie
   • Strawberry + raspberry Smoothie
   • Mixed Fruit Smoothie
3. Aam Panna – Kids love mango and what better way to enjoy summers than home made aam panna. This recipe requires raw mangoes, which need to be pressure cooked. Once done, let them cool, peel them well and remove the pulp. Mix pulp with a little sugar and salt. Ass a dash of little cumin seed powder and blend the mixture in a blender. Kids will love its tangy, sweet-salty taste. You can substitute honey instead of regular sugar to make it extra healthy.
4. Juices – I am not in favour of packaged drinks, no matter what the brands claim. And I do not trust the local vendors to use hygienic ways of serving the drink. I prefer extracting the juice at home with a manual juicer or a food processor. Our favourites are:
   • Watermelon juice – Best thirst quencher
   • Pomegranate juice – loaded with anti-oxidants
   • Orange juice – daily dose of Vitamin C!
5. Lassi – Rey is a curd lover! So i had been looking for a recipe that I could prepare for him. I came across this simple yet awesome recipe. https://gkfooddiary.com/plain-lassi-for-babies/All it takes is 5 minutes and best served fresh!
6. Coconut water / Nariyal Paani – Yes, I know I said 5, but I just couldn’t leave this one out! Nariyal paani or coconut water is low in calories, delicious to boot and perhaps the healthiest natural drink you can indulge in on a hot, scorching summer day. It is our go-to-drink when we are traveling within the city. Even better than bottled water. To read of the many benefits of this refreshing natural drink, click here 

Do you have any toddler-approved, favourite summer drinks?

The post Quench the thirst appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Sharing with you all the three R’s, the basic values we are trying to inculcate in our son from early on

Respect: Respect for everyone regardless of age, gender or profession. To raise a kind and compassionate child, they need to treat everyone with the same amount of respect. They need to see you doing the same.

• We do not yell or scream at each other. Anytime Rey raises his volume to gain attention, we simply request him (in a calm tone) to speak gently and the minute he does it, we acknowledge with a response.
• Anytime, anyone comes knocking on the door – be it the sweeper or the courier guy or our house help, we ensure to thank them for their help. If Rey is around when they arrive, we ask him too to say Thank You to them for helping us out.
• We ensure we and Rey say hi or jai to people we meet, from relatives to neighbors to society guards. There are times when he is not in the mood to do so, then we wait a few minutes, let him get comfortable and request again.
• Our day starts with a prayer and thanking the almighty for all that we have.
• Watering the plants – not plucking flowers or leaves – teaches him to respect nature
• Be compassionate towards animals – it helps that we have extended family who have pets at home.

Be Responsible – A child who learns to take care of himself and his belongings turns out to be a more responsible and self-disciplined human being. It’s easy to get swayed by the love we have for our children and pamper them. However, it is also important to realize that always picking up after your child is not the only way to show love.

• Small things like not relying on the house-help or nanny to do your work goes a long way. We encourage Rey to keep his dishes in the sink. He does so many times, though it is usually accompanied by a loud noise (he does a basketball throw as he isn’t tall enough to reach the sink yet)
• Recently (maybe 2 months now), I got wall shelves installed in Rey’s play room. It not only helps me keep his toys and books organized, it also serves another purpose. Everytime Rey asks for a new book to read or another toy to play with, I make him hand me the one he was playing with. I explain to him that I’ll keep the toy (one he is not playing with any longer) back before I give him the new one. Now whenever Rey wants a new toy, he himself hands over the old one and asks me to “peep it bat” translated from toddler lingo – its, yes, Keep It Back.
• Don’t let them take the easy route out. I do not jump to help Rey whenever I see he needs help. Let the child make an effort.
• Many more examples – bottom line, they will do as they teach them to do.

Relationships – Families that value each other, stay together. We are living in the times when people are more concerned about themselves than others, neighbours kill each other over parking slots, even families shatter and break at the most trivial of issues, it is important to keep your close ones close. Teach the children to value and respect family. And this can happen only if you speak positively about family members to them.

• We ensure Rey spends time with family as and when possible. We take him to his Nani-Nanu’s (maternal grandparents) house at least twice or thrice in a month which includes a short stay as well.
• He spends quality time with his uncles and aunts and we try and meet them often. He is as fond of them as they are of him.
• He is an only child and we try to get Rey to meet and spend time with his big bro #Keebomiester and baby bro (cousins). Being children, they bond well and we hope we can keep this bond as strong once they grow up.

It is said that by the time a child is 5 or 6 years old, they start differentiating between right and wrong. They look up to their parents (who play a dominant role in modeling the child’s personality) and follow in their footsteps.

Children see, children do. I  do not tire of quoting this line. Children emulate what their parents and family members do. So as a child’s biggest influencers, we need to practice what we preach to our children.

I would love to know what are the basic human values you swear by? How are you teaching them to your children?

The post Inculcating Values In Children appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

As much as we would like to believe, the arrival of a baby and parenthood is not all fun. There are things to learn and challenges to overcome. While the first year has its own challenges, it’s the terrible twos, the terrifying threes and the frightening fours that test you and define you as a family.

People often talk about setting the expectations with the kids. But what about setting expectations as a family?

It is often the most ignored topic in a house. I often hear parents say “But we can’t expect them to alter their lifestyle” or “How can we ask them to change, it is our baby” or “They are old, expecting them to change now is not right”, etc etc.

Here, I beg to differ. Though I do not disregard all of the above and don’t expect people to change their way of life, I do believe that there is always some middle ground to be found. It doesn’t always have to be our way or no way.

Honest, straight-forward communication is essential. Even before our son was born, there were certain expectations that we as a family has agreed upon. These basic expectations were from us to our families and from our families to us.

Before I go ahead, let me make one thing very clear. Rehaan is not a deprived child and neither are we control freaks. We have chosen to give him a clean and healthy start.

• NO JUNK – Absolutely no junk which includes chips, chocolates, toffees, ice-creams, cakes, candies, lollies, aerated drinks, deep fried, street food, etc for the first two years and thereafter as long as we can. No artificial sugar till two. I add organic jaggery to his food. Glad to report that Rey doesn’t know a chocolate from a wafer chip. Even when he is handed a toffee, he gives it away because he doesn’t know what it is.

• DONT GIVE IN TO DEMANDS OR TANTRUMS – Children test you, they will try to manipulate you into giving in to their demands by throwing tantrums. Hold your ground. When the child sees one person in the house caving in, he will invariably go back for more. AND he will want the same expectation from you. If you refuse, you often become the villain. The key here is to maintain the same stance as a family. Mutual understanding in the family is a must to avoid setting an unwanted trend.

• NO SCREENS – Children see, children do. They will never ask you or others for something they don’t see you and anyone else doing. I openly discourage anyone from showing him their phone. Click here to read more on my journey to raising a toddler screen-free.

• NO CONFLICTS in front of the baby – Yes, this one is a little difficult to live in real life. Even healthy decisions when discussed animatedly can sound like an argument to a toddler especially if he is still trying to grasp languages. We have been making a conscious effort of watching our tone when our son is around. We move to a different room when a situation arises.

• Informed DECISIONS vs. age old MYTHS – This one is my favourite and where I am challenged the most. And I don’t mean at home. I mean anywhere there is a generation gap. “We have also raised kids. We raised you guys. Did you not turn out fine?” Phew!! My only argument (when I do make one, most of the times I ignore them and their ignorance) is that its not the same world we are living in, not the same air we breathe, not the same food (chemical-free/unadulterated) we eat. So why the same way of upbringing? A common cold that used to take 2 to 3 days to recover from, now takes weeks, thanks to the pollution and quality of life. Also, technology has grown by leaps and bounds to provide deep insight. It’s not guesswork any longer.

Thankfully, my immediate family is not so difficult to reason with and have accepted and respect the choices we are making. It may or may not work, but it is definitely worth a try. Isn’t it?

What have your challenges been? How have you overcome them as a family?

The post eXpectation Setting appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Not really. Babywearing has been prevalent for centuries. Work of famous artists from as far back as 18^th century depict women carrying their children on them. In fact as history states, Rani Lakshmi Bai – Queen of Jhansi, wore her son when she went to war against the British.

Present day too, if we cast a glimpse at our villages, women carrying their offsprings in their traditional jhola (carrier) is a common sight. If we happen to cross a construction site or maintenance site even in the city, we often see hard-working women carrying their little ones on their back and labouring away. Women and even men around the world are seen wearing their babies with pride and ease.

We started baby wearing pretty late, something I regret now. We had bought our first carrier when my baby was around 4 months and sold it by the time he was six months. Why? Because it was the wrong choice of carrier and my baby was not comfortable in it and neither were we as parents wearing it. I am glad we resumed when we did. Better late than never.

There are numerous advantages of babywearing. Happy to be sharing the top 5 basis my experience.

1. Babywearing makes traveling easier. For people who know us as, know we are travelers. We love exploring new places, new cultures, interacting with locals, etc. After we had our son, we wanted to continue our passion for traveling the world. Babywearing made that possible.

• Babywearing keeps my baby close to be hence no fear of crowded places.
• Can easliy manage my luggage and baby at public places like airports, train stations, bus deopts, etc
• Do not have to carry a stroller. A carrier anytime takes less space and is lighter. I’d happily save my baggage space for some shopping while traveling.
• No place is off limits due to the terrain – we even went trekking with our baby to a peak in Dalhousie.
• Don’t have to keep looking for an elevator to maneuver as is the case with a stroller.
• When visiting the hills – like we love doing – it keeps my baby snug and warm
• You can be out exploring for long and your baby will not tire of walking as babywearing gives both baby and parents a break.

2. Babywearing promotes bonding. It allows you to keep your baby close, hence they feel safer. They can feel you next to them, hear your voice, and feel the warmth of your body. Studies reveal that babies who are carried or worn, tend to heal faster. Babywearing means you automatically have more physical contact with your little one ultimately strengthening the attachment between the parent and the child.

• I have sometimes worn my son even inside the house, especially during the days he was sick and we were with no help. He was a lot calmer and relaxed when worn.

3. Hands-free! Which basically means freedom and independence. Yes, since you’re not using your arms to carry the baby, your hands are free to tackle the endless household chores or finish your work and meet that dealing looming around the corner.

• I have carried my son and gone shopping, stepped out for walks, written blogs, done multi-tasking all the while keeping y baby close.

4. Exercise – Carrying your baby is nothing less than a workout. Wearing makes it a lot easier however, has a similar impact.

• My only workout on days was wearing my baby and going for walks. I love walking, so mommy and baby both happy!

5. Keeps Toddler tantrums at bay – I’ve often noticed how my son throws a lot less tantrums when being carried as opposed to being on his own. I have total control over his movements so can easily manage him – and prevent him from making a scene – in the middle of a mall – flat on the ground. You get the picture!

Though babywearing is a personal choice and the discussion around it is endless. While some people claim that wearing your baby may end up making him clingy and spoil him. I beg to differ. On the contrary, Babywearing gives your child a sense of security and comfort.  It has been a boon for us and our baby. My son is now 28 months and weighs 12 kgs (all the more reason for to ensure we pack our carrier when we head out) and babywearing has come to our rescue many-a-times.

The post Wearing your baby – Spoiling or Strengthening the Bond? appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

However, God had other plans, and I was blessed with an angel of a boy. It was love at first sight (as is with almost all moms). I found it hilarious that people often mistook him for a girl, courtesy his long, golden, wavy tresses! It (maybe) was God’s way of fulfilling my wish of having a baby girl.

The idea of twinning was always exciting and did not disappear with the boy baby. And I thought to myself, so what if I can’t wear the same dress or same hair clips with my boy, we can still twin, right. How?

That is where Bonorganik came into the picture.

I became their customer in 2016, when my son was just 11 months old, and we were planning our first holiday as a family. I had initially visited their website to order from their fabulous Mommy and Baby collection but was soon curious by the hilariously captioned tees from the Dad and Son collection.

My husband who wasn’t very fond of twinning (that is new right?) loved the idea and the tees.

My son is now well over 2 years, and we are still not over the twinning craze! The latest in our collection are these super-fun captioned tees from Bonorganik.

If you love coordinating your outfits with kid’s or anyone else you love, then read on as to why Bonorganik is the site you can rely on.

About the brand:

Bonorganik is a global apparel store that offers tees, dresses, pajamas, boxers, ethnic wear, footwear and much more for every bond, age group, and many occasions.  What sets them apart is how they help people bond over apparel by dressing similar.

Established in 2012, it was founded by two people passionate about delivering the best. Niharika Verma and Puneet Verma have over ten years of experience in the field and are well on their way to becoming the world’s only brand that sells clothing for all relationships.

Categories:

• Just Like Dad: My favourite category! They not only have dad and son; dad and daughter, they also have a dad, son and daughter section!

I shopped from this category and personally was very happy with their collection. You too can shop the Beer Inside, Milk Inside tees combination here.

• Just Like Mom: Mom and daughter (sigh! I wish I could have shopped from here too. If you have a daughter who loves dressing up like her mommy, these combos will bring a smile on your face), mom and son (why should boys have all the fun eh?), mommy and baby (LOVE this one) and double trouble.
• Just like Us: Family and friends outfits (no one is left behind!)
• Him and Her: This is where I am planning to pick up my anniversary gift from. Shh..! It is supposed to be a surprise for him!
• Super Siblings: There is something for the pranksters too.
• My baby: Bodysuits for the little one with matching tees for Mum and Dad
• Occasion wear: There’s a whole lot here from Special Days to Pre-wedding fun to Honeymoon madness to festivals and interest-specific.

Every item comes with a detailed description, which includes fit details, fabric details, styling help, and terms & conditions.

Material used:

Most of the apparel I have bought and browsed so far has been 100% cotton. Soft and easy on the skin.

How to order:

Visit: https://bonorganik.in/

Browse through their online catalog.

Add your items to the cart and proceed to check out and make payment.

Easy peasy!

They offer free shipping in India and have the facility for paying Cash on delivery of the products till a 10k limit (check for your pin code though as there are area exceptions to this payment method). They even have an easy return policy (with T&C of course).

Go ahead, get your matching set now. After all, twinning is winning!

The post Twinning is Winning! appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Once you graduate, the constant pressure to get married (especially for women) starts piling up. When you get married, the next barrage of well-meaning advice is to have a baby – complete your family – they say. Oh well, alright. And along comes a baby.

The baby hasn’t even started walking confidently yet and look, there’s the bombardment again – yes. You guessed it right. The baby needs company. Complete your family. You don’t want him to be alone after you’re gone. Blah blah.

Even before I got married, when my husband I were dating, we were clear on how we wanted our family to grow. That’s where communication plays a major role. Talk. Discuss. Agree (or agree to disagree). There were two things we both agreed to:

1. We will not rush into starting a family
2. We will have only one child

I am glad that we were able to stick to our commitments.

1. No matter how long you’ve known your partner and how deep your love is, the real compatibility test starts when you start living together. There are behaviours you discover, quirks you try to accept, and a family you get to know. There are agreements and arguments, celebrations and compromise, love and lash-outs. The child changes the equation between a husband and wife. From “two is company” you jump to “three is a party”, leaving you with no time for yourselves for a while. It is a journey that challenges you and tests you at your most vulnerable point. And until the man and woman cruise on smooth waters, getting a child into this world is a risky matter (purely our opinion).

We had been married three and a half years before we embarked on the parenthood journey with all our valour. And even then, there are days when we find ourselves not on the same side of the court. But we’ve learned and we’re still sailing.

2. Only one child (whether by choice or through necessity). Phew! Now this one is a little difficult to explain especially to those who think one is not enough. If you and your partner have decided to have one child, you will find a lot of people offering you unsolicited advice. After all is said and done, how many children you wish to have is solely your decision as parents. Given the times we are living in, and how unpredictable this world is becoming, this decision took a lot of thought.

• We, as parents, are happy to have one child. And as parents, it’s our decision to decide how many children we want to get into this world
• With the way the world is progressing (read a study that by 2050, all aquatic life will disappear), pollution, global warming, natural calamities on the rise, forest fires etc, why would I want to bring more lives on this planet that is already struggling to live.
• Any newspaper you pick up is full of violence, of shootouts, of abductions and rapes and murders. Living in the times of fear. Is this the society I want to raise my children in? Nope.

Yes, we were aware that no matter what decision we make, there will always be another to counter. Sharing with you a few points we as parents often ponder upon before making that humungous decision. A few benefits as well as challenges of having an only child.

Plus / Pros / Benefits –

• More time to devote to your child so the child gets undivided love and attention. Quality time with the child helping him focus more intimately on these relationships.
• Better quality of life. Let’s face it – if only incomes would increase in direct proportion to the family size! The inflow of funds is unaffected by the family size, however, the outflow and expenditure totally depend on the number of people dependent on that income. So one child = more financial stability, hence better life quality for all. An only child gets the best of everything – material things and otherwise.
• More energy – this one is a no-brainer!
• More independent child – without an elder sibling to support every step, the child will find his own footing, make friends outside of his first circle, become more social
• No sibling rivalry
• No comparisons 

Challenges:

• Growing up alone – it depends on what kind of environment do the parents foster at home. Are they around to fill the gap?
• Companionship – We all crave company our age, so do children.
• Sharing – Living with someone means sharing their space and stuff. Siblings learn that lesson pretty quickly.

Just like there are two sides to a coin, there are two perspectives towards everything. You just got to decide which one will make you happier. In the end, how a child turns out to be is totally dependent on how the child is brought up.

The post Only child? appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

It is one of the first things a couple starts to think about even before their child is born. While some couples take a lot of factors into consideration, some want the most unique name for their child. Some like it trendy, some traditional. As expectant parents, we too were super excited about what or rather who was to come. Not knowing the gender of the unborn baby only added to that excitement. Fortunately for us, neither of our families believed in consulting the pundits for a letter to pick a name from, so our options weren’t limited.

And so started the task of jotting down names that we both already liked, asking for recommendations from family and friends, picking names off our favourite TV series (skipped GoT though, imagine Tyrion or Hound going down in that list!) and movies. My friends shared excel sheets with thousands of names in them. No kidding! I am guilty of skimming past most of them though.

My husband and I looked up meanings, pronunciations, and variations of quite a few names. We discussed and disagreed, ooh and aahed and kept narrowing down the list.

Finally, around the eight month of my pregnancy, we narrowed down the names to five. Five boy names and five girl names.

And by the time it was time for the baby to arrive, we had zeroed in on one name – each for a boy and a girl.

I had really, like really wanted and prayed for a baby girl, right from the time I suspected I was pregnant till the time I was in the OT (yes C-sec because my baby refused to let go of the umbilical cord) till the very moment the doc brought the baby in front of my eyes. My gynaec asked me then “Sejal what do you think? Boy or Girl?” Even then my response was GIRL! And then she showed me my baby’s face and before she could tell me who had arrived, I was already head over heels for the little, pink bundle in front of me. That point in time, it didn’t matter what I wanted. What mattered was that I had been blessed. Blessed with the most adorable baby boy I had ever laid my eyes on. And my heart called out and welcomed the baby.

Why did we choose that name? Where did it lead us? Click on the link to finish reading the story:

https://bit.ly/2r2jZS3

This blog was originally written for World Of Moms.

The post What’s in the NAME? appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Parents are the biggest influencers in a child’s early age. Everything they do or don’t do will have a direct impact on the development of the child. The first five years are known as the formative years of a baby’s life. These growing up years play a fundamental role in the child’s physical, cognitive and social skills and development. It is these years that will later define your child’s personality, health, and interests.

My husband and I are like-minded in many aspects. We were both very clear about the way we wanted to raise Rehaan even before the baby arrived in this world. He is now a 28 months old toddler who adores his father and follows his every move.

So this post is dedicated to Rehaan’s father. His role-model.

And honestly, I am not surprised as Mr, Husband is an extremely involved father. He works full-time in a dynamic role that requires all his energy and time. Yet, he manages to lead a life he is happy and content with.

• He exercises (cross-fit, muscle-building, calisthenics, yoga, running) for an hour or ninety minutes every day. The brutal winters cannot stop him, the humidity does not deter him, rain only motivates him more and holidays are an excuse to exercise longer.
  • Rehaan can be seen trying to do push-ups, asanas or generally stretching in his own toddler ways trying to imitate his father.

• He reads. From books to newspapers to articles. Being an English (H) student, that habit has stayed with him over the years.
  • Rehaan likes books. Yes, there came a phase (4-5 months) where he had lost interest in books, but its back now. His books travel with him wherever we go now.
• Mr. Husband didn’t own a smartphone until last year. Yes. He belongs to an almost extinct species of humans who are not very fond of technology and had stayed away from it all for the longest time. Even now, he accesses data-based apps only at night for a while before sleeping. TV is for matches only. And that doesn’t happen very often either.
  • Rehaan has no fascination with phones or TV. Because he doesn’t see his parents glued to the idiot boxes. Ahem.. here I  will unabashedly take the credit too as Rehaan and I are together 24X7 and I’ve managed to keep him away from any kind of screen. (saving that for another day)
• Mr. Husband is an outdoor person (we have that in common. Did someone say MFEO? But since this post is about him, I’ll mention only his interests). He loves walking through nature trails and parks and being close to nature.
  • Rehaan is turning out to be the same. Not a surprise as he is simply following his parent’s footsteps.
• Mr. Hubba is an ardent football fan.
  • If you’ve been following raising_rehaan’s insta stories, you will already be familiar with how much he loves playing the game too.
• Mr. Husband is a health-nut. He is a rabbit who can survive on veggies all around the year. He is one of those who would make sure to check the ingredients label on any packed food item. No, he is not finicky, he is simply conscious of what goes into his stomach and body.
  • Rehaan loved eating veggies too. His favourite these days is Orca (bhindi). Oh! he loves pasta too (that he takes from me, so I make sure I give him the healthy version of Pasta in Daal Sauce – recipe here)

This father-son duo is truly living up to the proverb – Like Father, Like Son.

And though there are days when I forget to appreciate Mr. Husband for his support (and there are a lot of such days), I couldn’t have asked for more. He truly inspires me and everyone around him to lead a simple and healthy life. I am a proud wife and a fortunate mother to have Mr. Husband as family.

The post Like Father, Like Son appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Time is the biggest healer. With time you move on. There are new beginnings, new memories to be created and cherished. All this is true. But what when the one who rejects you for someone else is your own child?

And that is the dilemma I was in. I clearly remember when the first time it happened.

We were holidaying in Goa. Our first together as a family. A ten-day long break in the fisherman village called Arambol. We had rented an apartment as we wanted access to a kitchen to prepare meals for Rey as opposed to feeding him from restaurants for ten days, which for him would’ve been over thirty meals.

We are travellers and we do a lot of exploration on foot. That is how we are raising Rehaan too. Back in October 2016, we had yet not experienced the joy of baby-wearing and were pretty much ignorant of its advantages. We had decided against bringing a stroller for this trip as we already had too much baggage for ten days (maybe a mistake if I look back now). We took turns carrying Rehaan, but it was soon clear that Daddy was the physically stronger one and hence doing most of the ferrying. I was happy to see them bond and spend quality time together. After all, I was the one who had been asking for a break and a holiday.

It was post this trip that I noticed the sudden changes. He was old enough to show his preference. Though he would be happy with me all day long and refuse to go to anyone else. He would shower his love, his attention, his smiles on me. But all that would change when the clock struck 9 every night. That’s when I was given the boot. I kept telling myself that children soon grow out of this phase and my baby too will. I wasn’t jealous, just heart-broken and felt unneeded. It hurt. I reasoned that it was because he had less time with his daddy as compared to me, and maybe he wanted to make the most of it.

Nine months of having him exclusively to me in my womb. Another ten months of feeling needed. That feeling that you’re the world for this little someone. That his day started with waking up to me and nights in my arms. And now all of a sudden, that changed. He wanted to be held by Daddy. Wanted to be fed by him. Wanted Daddy to play with him. Wanted Daddy.

I remember coming back after an assignment one day and hoping to get the same reaction as he usually gave his Daddy. With my heart thumping, I walked in. Half afraid, half excited to meet my baby who I had left alone for hours for the first time. Yes, he came running. Yes, he hugged me. Yes, he showered me with smiles. It is later that I realised how I had been holding my breath that evening. Such was the anxiety that ran through my blood, fuelled by the postpartum depression that had taken over my happiness in those months.

Rey is now a toddler. I miss my tiny squishy-ball. I miss holding him, cradling him to sleep, I miss his outstretched arms urging me to pick him up. I miss all this and more. And though he is a lot more relaxed now and not as clingy to his father (except for on vacations, maybe because he prefers a better view from up there), there are still those moments when he favours his father. And sometimes, I still feel sad not being the one he prefers. Not being the one he runs to.

I know that I will always be his mom. That no matter what, my love and affection for him will only grow with each passing day. That we will always have a deeper connection than anyone else can have with each other. I’ve been told it’s a phase. It will pass. I’ve looked it up and I know am not an isolated case. But it still breaks my heart into a million pieces everytime he turns the other way. When he plays favourites.

Mom heart. Mom life. Sigh.

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