The post No screen. No scream appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Do whatever you find therapeutic (if possible) – Go for a walk, Listen to music, Read,  Clean, Reorganize, Water the plants, Paint, Cook, Watch your favourite series or movie, Solve a puzzle, Play Sudoku

Oh, the tantrums might continue! Just the reason might change. There’s the Frightening Fours, Fearful Five, and what not! Once a parent, always a parent. You are in it for life! Enjoy this ride!

The post Toddler Tantrums appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

I threw out Rey’s favorite fishes (bath toys) a while back. He loved those fishes. Even had names for all of them. Carried them around. They helped keep him entertained and distracted while I gave him head baths. They were his bath buddies. Hell, they were my best buddies during his bath times.

It made my job a lot easier, then why did I decide to throw them away?

Here’s why. One of his bath buddies, the Nemo fish ended up with a small slit in its body and gave me a peep on what was going on inside him. I cut open the poor fish (and later a couple of other toys) and what I saw was enough to not let the fish and his friends stay another second in my house.

The bath toy had a layer of mold and gung inside it.

I decided to slaughter the rest of his bath buddies too. And as suspected, all his bath toys had mold growing inside. There was not much to ponder upon and I threw them all out.

Here is the photo I took of one of the toys before getting rid of them. Not sharing all photos as they are all equally gross.

FACT: I regularly washed his bath toys every week and hung them out to dry in the sun.

If you notice closely, you will see that every toy has a small hole in it. This allows water to seep inside. When we wash the bath toys, it’s just the exterior that is getting cleaned.

The combination of water, humidity and overall contamination of germs (especially if you have a toilet in the same closed room) makes the toys a welcome breeding ground for bacteria and fungi, which form “slimy films” inside. If you squeeze a bath toy you’ll notice a stream of watery, black gunk coming out of the little hole at the bottom.

These toys, over a period of time, can harbor potentially dangerous bacteria that could make you and children ill. The plastic in the toys may also leak chemicals for bugs to feast on and the material that they are made of may also serve as nutrients for the bacteria to grow.

I researched on the internet and there are plenty of studies which talk about why these deceptively cute toys should not be a part of your child’s bath routine. A study which included a swab test revealed a shocking statistic, “A swab test shows the bath toys had a result of 6,000 and a public toilet had 600.”

So, no matter how cute these little ducklings and fish may appear, they could end up causing serious health issues to your little one. If your child plays with bath toys, I would urge you to check for yourself before you make a decision.

I checked and I don’t regret mine.

The post Bath Toys – the ugly insights appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

People judge more than they understand. People criticise more than they appreciate.

FACTS: I had a c-sec. I had to formula feed my baby the first day he arrived in the world because I had not started lactating. I want to get back on my feet. I want a career. I suffered from a bad case of PPD. I do not feed junk to my son. I do not let my son have sugary stuff. I am not depriving him by eliminating screen time. I prefer to give my son fruits over biscuits. I carry my son. I let him cry it out than giving in. I want my son to sleep in his own bed. I want my child to start playschool. I crave some me-time. 

Go ahead – judge me!

We all do. We may not accept or openly admit the fact, but we all have judged another mom at some time or the other and more often than not. I have too. Yes maybe judged you too. Would you like to know in what ways? Maybe not, because those are the same ways you have judged me too.

STOP and think. Think back to the when the mom you were so busy gossiping about could have instead used a friend because she was emotionally drained, or some help because she was bone-tired from chasing her toddler all day. But all she received was snickers and frowns.

We need to stop judging!

• Csec doesn’t make a woman any less of a mother.
• A mother would rather feed her child formula than let him starve.
• Motherhood does not mean you lose sight of who you are.
• Wanting to pursue your career does not mean you don’t love your child
• PPD is real. It paralyzes your senses
• How I feed my child should be my worry. I don’t expect you to take my approval on what you feed your child. Why would you think I would need yours?
• Wanting me-time does not mean I don’t care for my baby
• I am with him 24 hours, seven days a week. I know how to handle my child in public too.

What is funny is that we are quick to judge other mommies for the same situations we have been stuck in.

Remember mommies, the only person who knows your child best is you, that only you know how to raise your kid. Let’s stop mom-judging. Knowing that you are not alone is a big assurance to a mother’s spirit.

We need to STOP! There is no good or bad way of parenting, only mommies trying to give their best. And unless you are a perfect mother who has never faulted once in her journey, you have no right to judge another mommy.

Bottom line is, we are all doing our best. Just because I do it differently from you doesn’t mean I am doing it wrong.

We are all on this crazy roller-coaster together. Our aim is the same. Let’s do this together by supporting each other instead of pulling each other down. United we stand, divided we crawl.

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Make summers fun with drinks for kids to beat the heat and the sweltering, mercury-busting temperatures with home-made healthy drinks.

Sharing with you all my top 5 favorites, easy to make, loved by kids “drinks”:

**These drinks are recommended for toddlers and kids. Some fruits are a strict no=no for children under one. SO be sure to check with your pediatrician before trying.

1. Lemonade – Nothing beats the good old lemonade. It is called the official drink for summers for a reason. Not just refreshing but also nutritious. You can add a twist to it by adding different ingredients to it like:
   • Mint
   • Edible lavender
   • Orange
   • Ginger
2. Smoothies – Be it breakfast, snack or dessert, smoothies not only keep you hydrated but is also filling.
   • Banana Smoothie – Easiest and toddler approved. Add diced banana and milk (you can use soy milk too) to a blender. Blend until the ingredients are combined and smooth. And tada..! Its ready to be served. Depending on your child’s taste buds, you can add your choice of sprinkles. To make variations of this smoothie, simply replace the fruit with another.
   • Mango smoothie
   • Strawberry + raspberry Smoothie
   • Mixed Fruit Smoothie
3. Aam Panna – Kids love mango and what better way to enjoy summers than home made aam panna. This recipe requires raw mangoes, which need to be pressure cooked. Once done, let them cool, peel them well and remove the pulp. Mix pulp with a little sugar and salt. Ass a dash of little cumin seed powder and blend the mixture in a blender. Kids will love its tangy, sweet-salty taste. You can substitute honey instead of regular sugar to make it extra healthy.
4. Juices – I am not in favour of packaged drinks, no matter what the brands claim. And I do not trust the local vendors to use hygienic ways of serving the drink. I prefer extracting the juice at home with a manual juicer or a food processor. Our favourites are:
   • Watermelon juice – Best thirst quencher
   • Pomegranate juice – loaded with anti-oxidants
   • Orange juice – daily dose of Vitamin C!
5. Lassi – Rey is a curd lover! So i had been looking for a recipe that I could prepare for him. I came across this simple yet awesome recipe. https://gkfooddiary.com/plain-lassi-for-babies/All it takes is 5 minutes and best served fresh!
6. Coconut water / Nariyal Paani – Yes, I know I said 5, but I just couldn’t leave this one out! Nariyal paani or coconut water is low in calories, delicious to boot and perhaps the healthiest natural drink you can indulge in on a hot, scorching summer day. It is our go-to-drink when we are traveling within the city. Even better than bottled water. To read of the many benefits of this refreshing natural drink, click here 

Do you have any toddler-approved, favourite summer drinks?

The post Quench the thirst appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

I remember writing this letter to myself sometime last year. Motherhood is a 24/7, exhilarating yet exhausting job. Bottle and Breastfeedings, diaper change, laundry, cooking, organizing activities for the child, home schooling and later school homework. Sometime during this time, life passes you by. Mommyhood is a never-ending responsibility. One that consumes all your time and energy. While initially, the child is totally dependent on the mother and his only solace in this big bright world, being completely immersed in the role is inevitable.

When the celebration of the arrival of the new baby fades away, when the excitement of the latest addition becomes old news, when the responsibilities of motherhood take over, is when the tug of war starts. The war between a woman and a mother.

We look in the mirror yet we cant find ourselves.

WHY?

Often mothers lose themselves in the world of motherhood. Our priorities move from ourselves to the baby long after the baby turns into a toddler and then a young child. We immerse ourselves so deep into looking after and caring for the baby that we end up neglecting ourselves. We are often so busy taking care of everyone else that we neglect to take care of ourselves. And if we fail to take care of ourselves, how can we take care of our children?

Many mothers find themselves at this crossroad where they are torn between taking out time for self vs spending time with the baby. And if somehow they do manage to grab some time out for themselves, they are ridden by the guilt of having prioritized themselves over their children. They demonstrate to the kids that they are low on their own list of priorities.

Mommies! STOP! BREATHE! RELAX! It doesn’t have to be a tug of war! Small things make a huge difference.

• Hand over the baby for a few hours. Your baby is loved just the same by your husband and family as you.
• When they offer help, grab it!
• Stop multi-tasking as if your life depends on it.
• Learn to say no
• Do not judge yourself
• Go for a walk
• Exercise
• Meditate
• Go to a coffee shop – even if you are not a coffee drinker
• Go on a date night with hubby
• Meet friends
• Listen to music
• Go for a movie
• Read a book
• Sleep
• Take out time for that hobby you loved
• Go for a spa
• Oil your hair
• Remember who YOU are.

Remember you cannot pour from an empty vessel. Take care of yourself. Start giving yourself time. Spend time rediscovering the most important person in your life – YOU.

The post Why YOU Matters appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Sharing with you all the three R’s, the basic values we are trying to inculcate in our son from early on

Respect: Respect for everyone regardless of age, gender or profession. To raise a kind and compassionate child, they need to treat everyone with the same amount of respect. They need to see you doing the same.

• We do not yell or scream at each other. Anytime Rey raises his volume to gain attention, we simply request him (in a calm tone) to speak gently and the minute he does it, we acknowledge with a response.
• Anytime, anyone comes knocking on the door – be it the sweeper or the courier guy or our house help, we ensure to thank them for their help. If Rey is around when they arrive, we ask him too to say Thank You to them for helping us out.
• We ensure we and Rey say hi or jai to people we meet, from relatives to neighbors to society guards. There are times when he is not in the mood to do so, then we wait a few minutes, let him get comfortable and request again.
• Our day starts with a prayer and thanking the almighty for all that we have.
• Watering the plants – not plucking flowers or leaves – teaches him to respect nature
• Be compassionate towards animals – it helps that we have extended family who have pets at home.

Be Responsible – A child who learns to take care of himself and his belongings turns out to be a more responsible and self-disciplined human being. It’s easy to get swayed by the love we have for our children and pamper them. However, it is also important to realize that always picking up after your child is not the only way to show love.

• Small things like not relying on the house-help or nanny to do your work goes a long way. We encourage Rey to keep his dishes in the sink. He does so many times, though it is usually accompanied by a loud noise (he does a basketball throw as he isn’t tall enough to reach the sink yet)
• Recently (maybe 2 months now), I got wall shelves installed in Rey’s play room. It not only helps me keep his toys and books organized, it also serves another purpose. Everytime Rey asks for a new book to read or another toy to play with, I make him hand me the one he was playing with. I explain to him that I’ll keep the toy (one he is not playing with any longer) back before I give him the new one. Now whenever Rey wants a new toy, he himself hands over the old one and asks me to “peep it bat” translated from toddler lingo – its, yes, Keep It Back.
• Don’t let them take the easy route out. I do not jump to help Rey whenever I see he needs help. Let the child make an effort.
• Many more examples – bottom line, they will do as they teach them to do.

Relationships – Families that value each other, stay together. We are living in the times when people are more concerned about themselves than others, neighbours kill each other over parking slots, even families shatter and break at the most trivial of issues, it is important to keep your close ones close. Teach the children to value and respect family. And this can happen only if you speak positively about family members to them.

• We ensure Rey spends time with family as and when possible. We take him to his Nani-Nanu’s (maternal grandparents) house at least twice or thrice in a month which includes a short stay as well.
• He spends quality time with his uncles and aunts and we try and meet them often. He is as fond of them as they are of him.
• He is an only child and we try to get Rey to meet and spend time with his big bro #Keebomiester and baby bro (cousins). Being children, they bond well and we hope we can keep this bond as strong once they grow up.

It is said that by the time a child is 5 or 6 years old, they start differentiating between right and wrong. They look up to their parents (who play a dominant role in modeling the child’s personality) and follow in their footsteps.

Children see, children do. I  do not tire of quoting this line. Children emulate what their parents and family members do. So as a child’s biggest influencers, we need to practice what we preach to our children.

I would love to know what are the basic human values you swear by? How are you teaching them to your children?

The post Inculcating Values In Children appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

As much as we would like to believe, the arrival of a baby and parenthood is not all fun. There are things to learn and challenges to overcome. While the first year has its own challenges, it’s the terrible twos, the terrifying threes and the frightening fours that test you and define you as a family.

People often talk about setting the expectations with the kids. But what about setting expectations as a family?

It is often the most ignored topic in a house. I often hear parents say “But we can’t expect them to alter their lifestyle” or “How can we ask them to change, it is our baby” or “They are old, expecting them to change now is not right”, etc etc.

Here, I beg to differ. Though I do not disregard all of the above and don’t expect people to change their way of life, I do believe that there is always some middle ground to be found. It doesn’t always have to be our way or no way.

Honest, straight-forward communication is essential. Even before our son was born, there were certain expectations that we as a family has agreed upon. These basic expectations were from us to our families and from our families to us.

Before I go ahead, let me make one thing very clear. Rehaan is not a deprived child and neither are we control freaks. We have chosen to give him a clean and healthy start.

• NO JUNK – Absolutely no junk which includes chips, chocolates, toffees, ice-creams, cakes, candies, lollies, aerated drinks, deep fried, street food, etc for the first two years and thereafter as long as we can. No artificial sugar till two. I add organic jaggery to his food. Glad to report that Rey doesn’t know a chocolate from a wafer chip. Even when he is handed a toffee, he gives it away because he doesn’t know what it is.

• DONT GIVE IN TO DEMANDS OR TANTRUMS – Children test you, they will try to manipulate you into giving in to their demands by throwing tantrums. Hold your ground. When the child sees one person in the house caving in, he will invariably go back for more. AND he will want the same expectation from you. If you refuse, you often become the villain. The key here is to maintain the same stance as a family. Mutual understanding in the family is a must to avoid setting an unwanted trend.

• NO SCREENS – Children see, children do. They will never ask you or others for something they don’t see you and anyone else doing. I openly discourage anyone from showing him their phone. Click here to read more on my journey to raising a toddler screen-free.

• NO CONFLICTS in front of the baby – Yes, this one is a little difficult to live in real life. Even healthy decisions when discussed animatedly can sound like an argument to a toddler especially if he is still trying to grasp languages. We have been making a conscious effort of watching our tone when our son is around. We move to a different room when a situation arises.

• Informed DECISIONS vs. age old MYTHS – This one is my favourite and where I am challenged the most. And I don’t mean at home. I mean anywhere there is a generation gap. “We have also raised kids. We raised you guys. Did you not turn out fine?” Phew!! My only argument (when I do make one, most of the times I ignore them and their ignorance) is that its not the same world we are living in, not the same air we breathe, not the same food (chemical-free/unadulterated) we eat. So why the same way of upbringing? A common cold that used to take 2 to 3 days to recover from, now takes weeks, thanks to the pollution and quality of life. Also, technology has grown by leaps and bounds to provide deep insight. It’s not guesswork any longer.

Thankfully, my immediate family is not so difficult to reason with and have accepted and respect the choices we are making. It may or may not work, but it is definitely worth a try. Isn’t it?

What have your challenges been? How have you overcome them as a family?

The post eXpectation Setting appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Along with joy and happiness, parenthood also brings in a level of responsibility. It’s not easy for the parents to hand over their little one to strangers and is equally unsettling for the child to step away from the security of the environment he has known forever. While a part of us, as parents, is excited about this new chapter in our child’s life, a huge part of us is anxious about handing them over to strangers. But its inevitable.. isn’t it?

Choosing a playschool requires you to invest time and energy. With Rey turning two in December, we knew we had to start doing our homework on schools soon. We started with scouting for play schools in our part of town.

Here’s how we filtered and short-listed a playschool for Rey.

Testimonials and reviews speak volumes about a school’s reputation. We asked our family & friends, checked social media thoroughly for anything which was not acceptable.

Location & distance: something close and easily accessible. Distance also plays a major role. Look for a playschool which is in your vicinity so that it is convenient to reach your child whenever needed. Make sure the location is also strategic and has a better surrounding, for example, no stagnant water bodies around that can lead to diseases, etc.

Security (guarded gates) + Safety (fenced stairs, furniture, toddler proofing): Ensuring CCTV coverage doesn’t guarantee a safe environment but it does help. Pay a visit to the playschool before enrolling your toddler to inspect and satisfy yourself.

Hygiene (including kitchen & washrooms) in and around the school: Children will be spending a considerable amount of time at the playschool (especially if you opt for day boarding too). It is essential that the playschool maintains a hygienic environment for the children o flourish in. Do not miss the toilets.

Learning methodologies & academia: Another important factor is to consider the school’s philosophy and the overall approach towards learning. There are different methodologies playschools follow:

• The Montessori Method – (an approach I have been using with Rey at home too)
• The Reggio Emilia Approach
• The Waldorf Approach
• The HighScope Approach
• Rudolf Steiner Approach

And many more.

 Curriculum + Extracurricular activities + exposure: Check the curriculum the school follows (it should not be draining for the child). Playschool, after all, is about playing and learning. Another important factor is the extracurricular activities like singing, dancing, painting etc. There should be room to just relax as well.

Student – teacher+helper ratio: One of the most important factors. Enquire about the student to teacher ratio so that your child gets proper attention. The fewer children a teacher is in charge for, the better for the child as he will receive more attention and time from his teacher. No matter how efficient, a teacher cannot run a classroom effectively and give the kids the attention they deserve running after 20 kids. Also, check for the school’s helpers ratio and involvement. They help with activities like toilet trips and feeding themselves and moving around the school premises.

Infrastructure + facilities: It helps if the playschool is on the ground floor. With so many children moving around, stairs become a threat to their safety. Check if the school has baby gates installed at every stairs entrance and exit.

Developmental milestones and observation sharing with parents: ANother important factor to consider. SOme playschools have a quarterly reporting system. I personally feel quarterly is too late especially at this stage where the child is in a constant learning phase. Ask the school how often the school shares your child’s development.

The probability of future absorption in higher classes: It is always a plus point as it will relieve you from the hassle of looking for a formal school a year later.

Fee structure: This may be the easiest factor. Get a list of affordable schools that suit your pocket and budget.

In addition to the above, another point to consider (even more than the above points) is to understand your child. Is the school’s approach aligned with your child’s personality? Take your child along for a visit. It will be good to see how your child responds to the environment, the teachers, and the school. Observing your child in the school’s environment will give you an idea whether the school and the child will be a good fit for each other.

Most importantly, trust your instincts. Do not get dazzled by the fancy equipment or play zones or a gleaming building. Don’t depend on the numbers they share of fooled by the marketing strategies they deploy. Pay multiple visits if required. Visit during school hours to get a true picture.

It is, after all, the place where your child’s personality will start getting honed.

What points did you consider when you chose a playschool perfect for your child?

Hope these points and tips will help you make an informed decision. Wish you all the best!

The post The Perfect Playschool appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Well, it is a personal choice. Parenting is personal. I try not to judge parents who allow too much screen time, having said that it’s not something I appreciate a whole lot either. I am not perfect, neither do I expect others to be. Sharing with you all today my views and how I have been raising my son as a screen-free child.

Welcome to my world. I am a work from home mom which makes screens an inevitable part of my daily routine. Even then, I have managed to keep my son away from all screens, be it TV, laptop, mobiles or tablets. How?

Read on.

Start.

It helps to start off on the right track. An infant has no demands except for milk and sleep and a lot of cuddles. There is absolutely zero requirement of any other thing. Studies indicate that introducing screen to them at such a delicate age can have lasting negative effects on their still-developing brain.

• We made it a rule to have no screens around Rey when he was an infant. Phones were kept out of sight and he was hardly ever in a room with the TV on. And when he was, his line of vision did not capture the screen.

Set an example.

Children see, children do. They will never ask you for something they don’t see you and anyone else doing. You cannot be glued to the screen and expect your child to not follow suit. Avoid screens in front of the child. This one is a little difficult for those parents and families whose favourite time pass is watching TV or playing games on the mobile or being obsessed with social media.

• It helps that neither my husband nor I am a fan of TV. We do follow series, however, we catch up on them only after our son has settled for the night. My husband watches football matches but that’s only once in a while. As for the mobile, it is strictly off-limits for our son. His father is not a smartphone fan and I try limiting my usage when he is around. I do click a lot of his photos and make videos but switch off the screen the minute I am done. My son thinks of the phone as a camera as I haven’t let him look at the screen beyond selfies and photos. I openly discourage anyone from showing him their phone as well. Well, yeah – I am only watching out for my son. Sue me!

Phones are not a substitute.

Parenthood can be overwhelming. Yes. It can drive you nuts. Agreed. It may even make you question your sanity. Has happened to me too. But all it takes is those weak moments to give in and start the circle. Ask someone to step in if you can. Keep extra toys handy. Keep activities ready. Head out for a walk with the baby. Plan your day. Leave room for boredom

• For the last two years, I have been solo parenting to an only child, Monday to Friday from morning to night. I know how it feels to want a break. But it’s doable.

Habits.

It’s never too soon to start forming good habits. A general rule in our house is “No phone, No TV” for children.

• By the time my son was 18 months old, he would not l̥ook at the TV or pick up a mobile

Hold your ground

Children quickly learn and realize what they can get from where. If you give in too easily, they will only come on stronger next time. Hold your ground.

• Although Rey hasn’t shown any interest in screens, if anytime something catches his eye and I see him glancing at a phone, I am quick to whisk it away and not give in to his request. On those rare occasions or when on a video call – when he does look at the screen, I ensure he does not get the phone in his hands.

Now he is almost 2 and a half years old and even if TV is on in the house, he pays no attention. If there are phones lying around, they are just boxes for him, he doesn’t try to switch them on and fiddle with them.

I have, on days, switched on the TV, put on a cartoon, and recorded his reactions to whether he starts watching TV. His response instead has been to ask me to play with him and not even glance towards the screen.

I realize screen time is inevitable with so much digital influence directed towards kids – from videos to games to educational apps. I will introduce it to him slowly and gradually.

But for now, as a wise man once said: “A child should know how to hold a pencil before he learns how to operate a mobile phone”.

The post Screen or Scream – Not Really. appeared first on Raising Rehaan.