People judge more than they understand. People criticise more than they appreciate.

FACTS: I had a c-sec. I had to formula feed my baby the first day he arrived in the world because I had not started lactating. I want to get back on my feet. I want a career. I suffered from a bad case of PPD. I do not feed junk to my son. I do not let my son have sugary stuff. I am not depriving him by eliminating screen time. I prefer to give my son fruits over biscuits. I carry my son. I let him cry it out than giving in. I want my son to sleep in his own bed. I want my child to start playschool. I crave some me-time. 

Go ahead – judge me!

We all do. We may not accept or openly admit the fact, but we all have judged another mom at some time or the other and more often than not. I have too. Yes maybe judged you too. Would you like to know in what ways? Maybe not, because those are the same ways you have judged me too.

STOP and think. Think back to the when the mom you were so busy gossiping about could have instead used a friend because she was emotionally drained, or some help because she was bone-tired from chasing her toddler all day. But all she received was snickers and frowns.

We need to stop judging!

• Csec doesn’t make a woman any less of a mother.
• A mother would rather feed her child formula than let him starve.
• Motherhood does not mean you lose sight of who you are.
• Wanting to pursue your career does not mean you don’t love your child
• PPD is real. It paralyzes your senses
• How I feed my child should be my worry. I don’t expect you to take my approval on what you feed your child. Why would you think I would need yours?
• Wanting me-time does not mean I don’t care for my baby
• I am with him 24 hours, seven days a week. I know how to handle my child in public too.

What is funny is that we are quick to judge other mommies for the same situations we have been stuck in.

Remember mommies, the only person who knows your child best is you, that only you know how to raise your kid. Let’s stop mom-judging. Knowing that you are not alone is a big assurance to a mother’s spirit.

We need to STOP! There is no good or bad way of parenting, only mommies trying to give their best. And unless you are a perfect mother who has never faulted once in her journey, you have no right to judge another mommy.

Bottom line is, we are all doing our best. Just because I do it differently from you doesn’t mean I am doing it wrong.

We are all on this crazy roller-coaster together. Our aim is the same. Let’s do this together by supporting each other instead of pulling each other down. United we stand, divided we crawl.

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Parties, club hopping, designer dresses and Stuart Weitzman. Ok, maybe not Stuart, that’s taking it too far. Guccis and Louboutins.

Fancy hotels, expensive Liqueurs, and postcard photos. A larger than life lifestyle.

Perfect pout, high heels, and salon ready hair. This – while working in the kitchen which doesn’t have anything out of place or even a stain to prove that anything has ever been used.

These photos portray a life one can’t help but wish for.

That is social media for you. Where everyone (well almost) is trying to portray a life so perfect that the gullible and unsuspecting might end up feeling like complete losers.

Their picture-perfect lives, spotless homes, fancy lifestyle is what people start wishing for. What they do not realize is that it’s more often than not a sham. That the “memories” are often staged, that the “moment” is specially set up for a photo-op. In a bid to maintain the “perfect” virtual profile, they sacrifice a lot more in their real life.

That kitchen.. it was cleaned especially for the photo. And all the items which usually decorate the slab, shoved into a corner and out of the camera frame.

That picturesque snap that made you yearn to travel to the place took him hours to edit and process.

Those adorable smiles in that candid shot? Well, that’s one out of the hundred shots which were clicked that day which wasn’t blurred or unbalanced in composition.

Those parties? Those check-ins? Well, how does you paryting, getting drunk and getting clicked in a hundred different poses interest me anyway?

If we start comparing us to what we see on social media, we would never be satisfied with what we have and how we are. It’s a facade. Next time you see a profile and wish for a life like their’s, think again. Think if you really want to live in an illusion. Or would you rather live a life that’s real?

Would you like to live in a grid or a bubble or would you rather keep it real?

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Mr. Einstein explained a very crucial lesson of life in the simplest of words. However, it is one of the hardest things to achieve in this day and era.

Before we delve into deeper aspects of this very simple life fundamental, let me get this question out-of-the-way. What is Balance?

Of all the definitions I’ve read of the term, the one that most resonated with my perception was “a situation in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.”

Let’s face it. Life can be overwhelming at times and possesses a special knack for throwing even the toughest, the strongest of us off-balance. It’s in those moments we realise how much we take for granted.
From an ambitious, corporate minion to an over-exhausted mother, it’s been quite a journey for me too. From spending hours working on complex reports and Marimekkos, to spending sleepless nights as a new mommy, there have been plenty of times when I wanted to give up. However, that’s not always a choice that we have.

During my stint in the corporate world, I remember (with regret now) the countless hours I spent post work glued to my workstation. Home had become a bed and breakfast. Family had become mere acquaintances. Such was the fiery ambition in me to rise the ranks (which I did too). It took a couple of health setbacks to make me realise the more important things in life. All because I lacked the much talked about “work-life balance”.

Is a setback necessary for an epiphany to happen? Of course not.

So what kind of Balancing Act am referring to?

It is the Equilibrium, the state when one doesn’t feel torn or pushed or cornered in one direction. It is when one is able to devote as much energy, time or attention as is required without neglecting the other aspects of life.
The golden word is Balance. Something you have to find for yourself. Something even Google can’t help you with.

Set your priorities. The time you spent today is not going to come back. Ask yourself if it was well-spent. Know when to say No. You don’t have to take all the responsibilities. Assess your plate. Don’t let your responsibilities weigh you down. Take breaks. Be it professional or personal, time away from routine is healthy. Me-time and time spent rejuvenating is not a waste. It is, in fact, an investment into a happier tomorrow. A happy mind makes a happy home. Know when to stop. Its often the most difficult yet rewarding step.

As Peter Latham once said “Fortunate, indeed, is the man who takes exactly the right measure of himself and holds a just balance between what he can acquire and what he can use.”

Balance = Equilibrium = Stability = Strength.

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There was a time I loved writing. Penning down my thoughts – either through real-life incidents or fictional tales was how I expressed myself. Over the years, however, I’ve lost that part of me. Caught up in the corporate rat race and then the maddening frenzy that surrounds a new mother’s life made me all but forget how important and essential writing was to me for my survival. The only writing I did during the last decade of my life were Business Reviews, mundane reports and short posts to document my motherhood. Today I am making a promise to myself to revive the writer in me.

There was a time I loved reading. Reading was an important part of my day. Now all I read are recipes for my toddler and Instagram posts. It’s time to change that too. Today I am making a promise to myself to read at least 12 books this year. (being realistic. I’d rather under-promise and over-deliver, even if it is to myself)

There was a time I loved to paint and sketch and doodle. Now all I paint are pretty pictures in my head about the time when I will do everything I loved once again. Today I promise that I will paint/sketch/draw/doodle at least one piece per month.

There was a time I used to love watching TV series. It’s been weeks since I switched on the TV and watched anything. Today I promise that I will reacquaint with the Idiot box. This one is purely for entertainment purpose!

Jokes apart.. there are a lot of things I want to promise to myself. But at the same time, I realize that my foremost responsibility as of now lies in taking care of the soul I have been blessed with. Looking after and raising my son to be a good and healthy human is a promise that takes precedence over everything else. So along with helping my son take baby steps towards who he’ll become, I also need to take those baby steps towards rediscovering myself. To keep the promises I’ve made to myself. It’s all about finding an equilibrium. A Balance.

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But then a very close friend (thanks Tamanna) pushed me to take up this challenge. I guess she believes more in me than I do in myself.

So what am I talking about?

It’s the Blog Chatter A to Z challenge. Blog Chatter is a community of bloggers who are driven by the passion for writing, for expressing and sharing their views. Every year in April, they host the A to Z blog challenge. A letter for each day of the month. Pretty cool isn’t it?

With barely four days to the start, I signed up for it. The next step was selecting a theme. After much thought, I realized that my life revolved around my son. I spend every wink of the day thinking, planning and looking after my baby, almost like on auto-pilot. So it would be apt to pick Motherhood as a theme, correct? That’s where things change. What I need is a real challenge. One that would make me think, introspect and analyze. Hence I decided to embark on a journey of self-discovery. I have been most distant from myself and its time I re-discover who I was and who I want to be.

So, come April, I will be sharing SNIPPETS OF MY LIFE. Past, present and future.

Stay hooked! April is coming!

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