I set out on a challenge. A letter a day. And today, with just a few minutes to spare, I am about to reach the finish line.

To be honest, I wasn’t very keen on taking up this challenge. Already pressed for time, with a toddler to look after, forever exhausted, it seemed impossible to me. But as they say, there’s always someone watching over you. For me, it came in the form of my dear friend and confidante Tamanna. She encouraged me to join, pushed me to keep going and motivated me to finish the challenge. Thanks Tammy!

This month has been about rediscovering myself as a writer. I still have miles to go but at least I have started.

I remember April 1 and 2 and 3 and maybe more, when it took me two days just to write one blog. When staring at a blank screen was all I did. And thinking about these last few days when I have written on over ten topics. Some in less than an hour.

I remember feeling under-confident, doubting myself. What if I am not able to write anything? What if no one likes my work? What if I end up making mistakes, etc etc. All those worries are now miles away.

In the last four weeks, I have rediscovered my own grit and level of determination. Deep fire within me egged me on. There were days when I felt that I was wasting my time if I wasn’t writing. All my focus and thoughts were on this challenge which kept me away from harbouring negative thoughts or dwelling on meaningless worldly concerns.

The last few days – the determination of completing this challenge, of staying awake till 4 AM to write blogs and waking up at 7 AM to look after my toddler – have felt nothing less than an adventure-packed, fast-paced movie.

The excitement I felt last night when I realised I was just two blogs from successfully completing this challenge was akin to staying awake on the eve of the maiden international vacation. My mind simply refused to switch off and I kept thinking of what I wanted to write on next.

Thanks, Blog Chatter for giving me an opportunity to feel the zeal again.

The post Zip Zap Zoom appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Sharing with you all the three R’s, the basic values we are trying to inculcate in our son from early on

Respect: Respect for everyone regardless of age, gender or profession. To raise a kind and compassionate child, they need to treat everyone with the same amount of respect. They need to see you doing the same.

• We do not yell or scream at each other. Anytime Rey raises his volume to gain attention, we simply request him (in a calm tone) to speak gently and the minute he does it, we acknowledge with a response.
• Anytime, anyone comes knocking on the door – be it the sweeper or the courier guy or our house help, we ensure to thank them for their help. If Rey is around when they arrive, we ask him too to say Thank You to them for helping us out.
• We ensure we and Rey say hi or jai to people we meet, from relatives to neighbors to society guards. There are times when he is not in the mood to do so, then we wait a few minutes, let him get comfortable and request again.
• Our day starts with a prayer and thanking the almighty for all that we have.
• Watering the plants – not plucking flowers or leaves – teaches him to respect nature
• Be compassionate towards animals – it helps that we have extended family who have pets at home.

Be Responsible – A child who learns to take care of himself and his belongings turns out to be a more responsible and self-disciplined human being. It’s easy to get swayed by the love we have for our children and pamper them. However, it is also important to realize that always picking up after your child is not the only way to show love.

• Small things like not relying on the house-help or nanny to do your work goes a long way. We encourage Rey to keep his dishes in the sink. He does so many times, though it is usually accompanied by a loud noise (he does a basketball throw as he isn’t tall enough to reach the sink yet)
• Recently (maybe 2 months now), I got wall shelves installed in Rey’s play room. It not only helps me keep his toys and books organized, it also serves another purpose. Everytime Rey asks for a new book to read or another toy to play with, I make him hand me the one he was playing with. I explain to him that I’ll keep the toy (one he is not playing with any longer) back before I give him the new one. Now whenever Rey wants a new toy, he himself hands over the old one and asks me to “peep it bat” translated from toddler lingo – its, yes, Keep It Back.
• Don’t let them take the easy route out. I do not jump to help Rey whenever I see he needs help. Let the child make an effort.
• Many more examples – bottom line, they will do as they teach them to do.

Relationships – Families that value each other, stay together. We are living in the times when people are more concerned about themselves than others, neighbours kill each other over parking slots, even families shatter and break at the most trivial of issues, it is important to keep your close ones close. Teach the children to value and respect family. And this can happen only if you speak positively about family members to them.

• We ensure Rey spends time with family as and when possible. We take him to his Nani-Nanu’s (maternal grandparents) house at least twice or thrice in a month which includes a short stay as well.
• He spends quality time with his uncles and aunts and we try and meet them often. He is as fond of them as they are of him.
• He is an only child and we try to get Rey to meet and spend time with his big bro #Keebomiester and baby bro (cousins). Being children, they bond well and we hope we can keep this bond as strong once they grow up.

It is said that by the time a child is 5 or 6 years old, they start differentiating between right and wrong. They look up to their parents (who play a dominant role in modeling the child’s personality) and follow in their footsteps.

Children see, children do. I  do not tire of quoting this line. Children emulate what their parents and family members do. So as a child’s biggest influencers, we need to practice what we preach to our children.

I would love to know what are the basic human values you swear by? How are you teaching them to your children?

The post Inculcating Values In Children appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Well, it is a personal choice. Parenting is personal. I try not to judge parents who allow too much screen time, having said that it’s not something I appreciate a whole lot either. I am not perfect, neither do I expect others to be. Sharing with you all today my views and how I have been raising my son as a screen-free child.

Welcome to my world. I am a work from home mom which makes screens an inevitable part of my daily routine. Even then, I have managed to keep my son away from all screens, be it TV, laptop, mobiles or tablets. How?

Read on.

Start.

It helps to start off on the right track. An infant has no demands except for milk and sleep and a lot of cuddles. There is absolutely zero requirement of any other thing. Studies indicate that introducing screen to them at such a delicate age can have lasting negative effects on their still-developing brain.

• We made it a rule to have no screens around Rey when he was an infant. Phones were kept out of sight and he was hardly ever in a room with the TV on. And when he was, his line of vision did not capture the screen.

Set an example.

Children see, children do. They will never ask you for something they don’t see you and anyone else doing. You cannot be glued to the screen and expect your child to not follow suit. Avoid screens in front of the child. This one is a little difficult for those parents and families whose favourite time pass is watching TV or playing games on the mobile or being obsessed with social media.

• It helps that neither my husband nor I am a fan of TV. We do follow series, however, we catch up on them only after our son has settled for the night. My husband watches football matches but that’s only once in a while. As for the mobile, it is strictly off-limits for our son. His father is not a smartphone fan and I try limiting my usage when he is around. I do click a lot of his photos and make videos but switch off the screen the minute I am done. My son thinks of the phone as a camera as I haven’t let him look at the screen beyond selfies and photos. I openly discourage anyone from showing him their phone as well. Well, yeah – I am only watching out for my son. Sue me!

Phones are not a substitute.

Parenthood can be overwhelming. Yes. It can drive you nuts. Agreed. It may even make you question your sanity. Has happened to me too. But all it takes is those weak moments to give in and start the circle. Ask someone to step in if you can. Keep extra toys handy. Keep activities ready. Head out for a walk with the baby. Plan your day. Leave room for boredom

• For the last two years, I have been solo parenting to an only child, Monday to Friday from morning to night. I know how it feels to want a break. But it’s doable.

Habits.

It’s never too soon to start forming good habits. A general rule in our house is “No phone, No TV” for children.

• By the time my son was 18 months old, he would not l̥ook at the TV or pick up a mobile

Hold your ground

Children quickly learn and realize what they can get from where. If you give in too easily, they will only come on stronger next time. Hold your ground.

• Although Rey hasn’t shown any interest in screens, if anytime something catches his eye and I see him glancing at a phone, I am quick to whisk it away and not give in to his request. On those rare occasions or when on a video call – when he does look at the screen, I ensure he does not get the phone in his hands.

Now he is almost 2 and a half years old and even if TV is on in the house, he pays no attention. If there are phones lying around, they are just boxes for him, he doesn’t try to switch them on and fiddle with them.

I have, on days, switched on the TV, put on a cartoon, and recorded his reactions to whether he starts watching TV. His response instead has been to ask me to play with him and not even glance towards the screen.

I realize screen time is inevitable with so much digital influence directed towards kids – from videos to games to educational apps. I will introduce it to him slowly and gradually.

But for now, as a wise man once said: “A child should know how to hold a pencil before he learns how to operate a mobile phone”.

The post Screen or Scream – Not Really. appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Babies like predictability. They spend nine months in the mother’s womb, protected from the outside world, where there wasn’t much in terms of change. However, once they arrive in an otherwise exciting and chaotic world, where they are learning something new every day, seeing new faces, experiencing new senses; routine provides relief and a calming effect.

A daily routine helps bring in a consistency. Maintaining a regular routine soothes the child, be it an infant or a toddler, in stressful situations.

New Born:

A new-born, who hardly knows what’s going on around him, cannot tell night from day. Routines are particularly helpful in establishing what is known as the circadian rhythm in an infant. Circadian rhythm is a biological clock or a cycle that tells our body when to eat, sleep, etc. It helps distinguish night from day.

Newborns are too young and underdeveloped to follow such patterns. They need to be fed on demand, sleep when they want to, comforted if they need the feel to, etc. Establishing a routine should be introduced gently and gradually.  Exposing them to light when they are awake, dimming the lights of the room when they sleep, these daily habits can slowly help them differentiate between morning and evening and they learn to accordingly adjust their body rhythm.

3^rd month onwards

As new parents, it’s still a challenging time with the infant waking up multiple times for a night feed. However, small activities, like a stroll in the park, regular daily massage, bath around the same time, etc can be introduced as part of the daily routine. By the time the baby hits the half-year milestone, you will have an idea about the number of day naps he takes, his meal times, etc

6 – 8^th month

By now, you are pretty much aware of your baby’s temperament. Night feeds have reduced. Settling into a routine doesn’t look like a distant dream now. Perfect time to start working on it.

A routine imposes order on the roller-coaster that babyhood brings along. Following a routine is the first step for a baby to realize that he has rules to follow. By the time the baby is around 8 months of age, he or she starts to understand that people and objects exist even when they are out of sight. If the child realizes that he or she will be able to get back to the person or the object, they tend to remain calmer. This concept is called Object permanence.

Developing a routine:

Now the million dollar question is how to get started? There is no “by-the-book-method” for it. When my baby was born, I had no idea about how I was going to manage a child. However, as time progressed, I understood my child’s rhythm and we worked together – baby and mommy.

Another thing that helps develop a routine is sticking to the daily tasks and timelines. Establish the important times such as waking-up time, meals, naps, and bedtime. By the time a baby is one year old, he anticipates the daily tasks. He knows that after he has been massaged, it will be time to take a bath. Consistency is important.

It takes time to settle into any routine, so be patient.

From the time my son was an infant, I had been very particular about his routine. Leaving social dos early, planning my day around his naps, carrying his portable bed for extended hours outside. I’ve done it all. I have been rewarded in the long run. My son is now 28 months and barring his transitions, he has enjoyed a predictable day timeline, making our lives a lot easier. His routine is well established, giving me the liberty to plan my day. He is especially particular about his bedtime. So much so, that he slept through the dhol reception of my Brother-in-law’s wedding reception party, while he was in my husband’s arms, who was dancing to the beats of the dhol with the baraat(wedding reception). See for yourself.

Having said that, be prepared for a bit of flexibility. Even the best routine can go kaput. They can not be timed to the minute. There will be days when they will refuse to sleep even 3 hours after their regular nap time. This especially happens by the time they turn 18 months. This is the time they like to test the waters. They like to test the rules. They might not want to take a bath or change into a fresh diaper. It starts resembling a wrestling match. You may have to balance it out. The toddler will be a lot more cooperative if you let them feel as if they are winning. For example, instead of telling him that he has to wear the tee shirt, place two tee-shirts in front of him and let him hand you the one he wants to wear.

There are different view points to it. I shared the one which worked well for me and has helped my toddler remain in a safe zone till now.

It’s important to respect routines and also realize that you will never have full control over them. Stay sensitive and adaptable to your baby’s needs.

The post Routine Matters appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

It is one of the first things a couple starts to think about even before their child is born. While some couples take a lot of factors into consideration, some want the most unique name for their child. Some like it trendy, some traditional. As expectant parents, we too were super excited about what or rather who was to come. Not knowing the gender of the unborn baby only added to that excitement. Fortunately for us, neither of our families believed in consulting the pundits for a letter to pick a name from, so our options weren’t limited.

And so started the task of jotting down names that we both already liked, asking for recommendations from family and friends, picking names off our favourite TV series (skipped GoT though, imagine Tyrion or Hound going down in that list!) and movies. My friends shared excel sheets with thousands of names in them. No kidding! I am guilty of skimming past most of them though.

My husband and I looked up meanings, pronunciations, and variations of quite a few names. We discussed and disagreed, ooh and aahed and kept narrowing down the list.

Finally, around the eight month of my pregnancy, we narrowed down the names to five. Five boy names and five girl names.

And by the time it was time for the baby to arrive, we had zeroed in on one name – each for a boy and a girl.

I had really, like really wanted and prayed for a baby girl, right from the time I suspected I was pregnant till the time I was in the OT (yes C-sec because my baby refused to let go of the umbilical cord) till the very moment the doc brought the baby in front of my eyes. My gynaec asked me then “Sejal what do you think? Boy or Girl?” Even then my response was GIRL! And then she showed me my baby’s face and before she could tell me who had arrived, I was already head over heels for the little, pink bundle in front of me. That point in time, it didn’t matter what I wanted. What mattered was that I had been blessed. Blessed with the most adorable baby boy I had ever laid my eyes on. And my heart called out and welcomed the baby.

Why did we choose that name? Where did it lead us? Click on the link to finish reading the story:

https://bit.ly/2r2jZS3

This blog was originally written for World Of Moms.

The post What’s in the NAME? appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Parents are the biggest influencers in a child’s early age. Everything they do or don’t do will have a direct impact on the development of the child. The first five years are known as the formative years of a baby’s life. These growing up years play a fundamental role in the child’s physical, cognitive and social skills and development. It is these years that will later define your child’s personality, health, and interests.

My husband and I are like-minded in many aspects. We were both very clear about the way we wanted to raise Rehaan even before the baby arrived in this world. He is now a 28 months old toddler who adores his father and follows his every move.

So this post is dedicated to Rehaan’s father. His role-model.

And honestly, I am not surprised as Mr, Husband is an extremely involved father. He works full-time in a dynamic role that requires all his energy and time. Yet, he manages to lead a life he is happy and content with.

• He exercises (cross-fit, muscle-building, calisthenics, yoga, running) for an hour or ninety minutes every day. The brutal winters cannot stop him, the humidity does not deter him, rain only motivates him more and holidays are an excuse to exercise longer.
  • Rehaan can be seen trying to do push-ups, asanas or generally stretching in his own toddler ways trying to imitate his father.

• He reads. From books to newspapers to articles. Being an English (H) student, that habit has stayed with him over the years.
  • Rehaan likes books. Yes, there came a phase (4-5 months) where he had lost interest in books, but its back now. His books travel with him wherever we go now.
• Mr. Husband didn’t own a smartphone until last year. Yes. He belongs to an almost extinct species of humans who are not very fond of technology and had stayed away from it all for the longest time. Even now, he accesses data-based apps only at night for a while before sleeping. TV is for matches only. And that doesn’t happen very often either.
  • Rehaan has no fascination with phones or TV. Because he doesn’t see his parents glued to the idiot boxes. Ahem.. here I  will unabashedly take the credit too as Rehaan and I are together 24X7 and I’ve managed to keep him away from any kind of screen. (saving that for another day)
• Mr. Husband is an outdoor person (we have that in common. Did someone say MFEO? But since this post is about him, I’ll mention only his interests). He loves walking through nature trails and parks and being close to nature.
  • Rehaan is turning out to be the same. Not a surprise as he is simply following his parent’s footsteps.
• Mr. Hubba is an ardent football fan.
  • If you’ve been following raising_rehaan’s insta stories, you will already be familiar with how much he loves playing the game too.
• Mr. Husband is a health-nut. He is a rabbit who can survive on veggies all around the year. He is one of those who would make sure to check the ingredients label on any packed food item. No, he is not finicky, he is simply conscious of what goes into his stomach and body.
  • Rehaan loved eating veggies too. His favourite these days is Orca (bhindi). Oh! he loves pasta too (that he takes from me, so I make sure I give him the healthy version of Pasta in Daal Sauce – recipe here)

This father-son duo is truly living up to the proverb – Like Father, Like Son.

And though there are days when I forget to appreciate Mr. Husband for his support (and there are a lot of such days), I couldn’t have asked for more. He truly inspires me and everyone around him to lead a simple and healthy life. I am a proud wife and a fortunate mother to have Mr. Husband as family.

The post Like Father, Like Son appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Parties, club hopping, designer dresses and Stuart Weitzman. Ok, maybe not Stuart, that’s taking it too far. Guccis and Louboutins.

Fancy hotels, expensive Liqueurs, and postcard photos. A larger than life lifestyle.

Perfect pout, high heels, and salon ready hair. This – while working in the kitchen which doesn’t have anything out of place or even a stain to prove that anything has ever been used.

These photos portray a life one can’t help but wish for.

That is social media for you. Where everyone (well almost) is trying to portray a life so perfect that the gullible and unsuspecting might end up feeling like complete losers.

Their picture-perfect lives, spotless homes, fancy lifestyle is what people start wishing for. What they do not realize is that it’s more often than not a sham. That the “memories” are often staged, that the “moment” is specially set up for a photo-op. In a bid to maintain the “perfect” virtual profile, they sacrifice a lot more in their real life.

That kitchen.. it was cleaned especially for the photo. And all the items which usually decorate the slab, shoved into a corner and out of the camera frame.

That picturesque snap that made you yearn to travel to the place took him hours to edit and process.

Those adorable smiles in that candid shot? Well, that’s one out of the hundred shots which were clicked that day which wasn’t blurred or unbalanced in composition.

Those parties? Those check-ins? Well, how does you paryting, getting drunk and getting clicked in a hundred different poses interest me anyway?

If we start comparing us to what we see on social media, we would never be satisfied with what we have and how we are. It’s a facade. Next time you see a profile and wish for a life like their’s, think again. Think if you really want to live in an illusion. Or would you rather live a life that’s real?

Would you like to live in a grid or a bubble or would you rather keep it real?

The post Keep it real appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Time is the biggest healer. With time you move on. There are new beginnings, new memories to be created and cherished. All this is true. But what when the one who rejects you for someone else is your own child?

And that is the dilemma I was in. I clearly remember when the first time it happened.

We were holidaying in Goa. Our first together as a family. A ten-day long break in the fisherman village called Arambol. We had rented an apartment as we wanted access to a kitchen to prepare meals for Rey as opposed to feeding him from restaurants for ten days, which for him would’ve been over thirty meals.

We are travellers and we do a lot of exploration on foot. That is how we are raising Rehaan too. Back in October 2016, we had yet not experienced the joy of baby-wearing and were pretty much ignorant of its advantages. We had decided against bringing a stroller for this trip as we already had too much baggage for ten days (maybe a mistake if I look back now). We took turns carrying Rehaan, but it was soon clear that Daddy was the physically stronger one and hence doing most of the ferrying. I was happy to see them bond and spend quality time together. After all, I was the one who had been asking for a break and a holiday.

It was post this trip that I noticed the sudden changes. He was old enough to show his preference. Though he would be happy with me all day long and refuse to go to anyone else. He would shower his love, his attention, his smiles on me. But all that would change when the clock struck 9 every night. That’s when I was given the boot. I kept telling myself that children soon grow out of this phase and my baby too will. I wasn’t jealous, just heart-broken and felt unneeded. It hurt. I reasoned that it was because he had less time with his daddy as compared to me, and maybe he wanted to make the most of it.

Nine months of having him exclusively to me in my womb. Another ten months of feeling needed. That feeling that you’re the world for this little someone. That his day started with waking up to me and nights in my arms. And now all of a sudden, that changed. He wanted to be held by Daddy. Wanted to be fed by him. Wanted Daddy to play with him. Wanted Daddy.

I remember coming back after an assignment one day and hoping to get the same reaction as he usually gave his Daddy. With my heart thumping, I walked in. Half afraid, half excited to meet my baby who I had left alone for hours for the first time. Yes, he came running. Yes, he hugged me. Yes, he showered me with smiles. It is later that I realised how I had been holding my breath that evening. Such was the anxiety that ran through my blood, fuelled by the postpartum depression that had taken over my happiness in those months.

Rey is now a toddler. I miss my tiny squishy-ball. I miss holding him, cradling him to sleep, I miss his outstretched arms urging me to pick him up. I miss all this and more. And though he is a lot more relaxed now and not as clingy to his father (except for on vacations, maybe because he prefers a better view from up there), there are still those moments when he favours his father. And sometimes, I still feel sad not being the one he prefers. Not being the one he runs to.

I know that I will always be his mom. That no matter what, my love and affection for him will only grow with each passing day. That we will always have a deeper connection than anyone else can have with each other. I’ve been told it’s a phase. It will pass. I’ve looked it up and I know am not an isolated case. But it still breaks my heart into a million pieces everytime he turns the other way. When he plays favourites.

Mom heart. Mom life. Sigh.

The post Playing Favourites appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

Leave aside the external factors, one of the biggest reasons for the failure is because we end up expecting too much. I am a culprit too. We expect from our partner, from our families, from friends, from children, from neighbours, from society, from colleagues, from the governing parties, from EVERYONE and that includes yourself.

Broadly speaking, there are two species of this monster. There are Expectations you have from people and Expectations that people have of you.

I remember attending a workshop at The Landmark Forum which made me do a deep dive assessment of my behaviour and how it was impacting my present and shaping my future. One of those introspections included the expectations that weigh us down. And more importantly the stress on how, more often than not, it’s our expectation of people that disappoint us. It was not something I didn’t already know. Yet it brought with it an epiphany of how I was the one responsible for ruining my mood, day after day.

Even Alexander Pope (the greatest English poet of the eighteenth century) said and I quote “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” One of the key factors that helped me resurface from my blues postpartum was acknowledging this fact. Not that I am immune to this syndrome now, I am just more conscious of the fact that I control what I feel. I can either feel let down when my expectation – which was set by me – was not met. Or I can simply not expect much from others. The choice is mine.

The other species – people’s expectation from you is even more interesting.

Some 8 or 9 years back when my parents started looking for a match for me, one of the first questions they were asked is if I could cook. I think those people had confused the job profile of a chef to a wife. Well, such were their expectations from the woman they wanted to welcome in the family. Thank heavens, I didn’t apply for that role. They would have had to spend their life regretting hiring me.

I got married in 2011 and remember the events that led up to my wedding day. One of the first on my to-do list was to finalize the invitation list. I remember having multiple discussions on why we had to invite “family” we hadn’t spoken to in years and met even less. The logic I was given was that they had invited us to their son’s/daughter’s wedding some 15 years back and would expect an invitation. I don’t even remember these distant relative’s faces. Alas, they were invited. And when they approached us on stage to give us the customary congratulatory blessings, all I could muster was a Hello Uncle & Aunty for I didn’t even remember if they were my chacha/chachi/bua/mama/maami/maasi…you get the idea.

When the news of my pregnancy spread and congratulatory wished flew in, also came in remarks as to how I will have to be strong and look after the baby (isn’t carrying a baby for nine months and going through delivery enough proof of a woman’s strength?). How I will need to look after the baby day and night. My husband would return exhausted from work and need rest and “proper” sleep to return to work the next day. Well, what about the mother who has gone through an excruciating labour/c-sec and needs rest for recovery, yet is managing and taking care of a newborn baby. OMG! The expectations people have!

People expect you to “like” every one of their 7654 photos on FB from the same vacation. They expect you to show up just because they have invited you even if its 56 seconds before the party kick-off time. They expect you to have all answers. They expect you to raise a perfect kid. They expect you to respond to every one of their WhatsApp messages.

The examples are aplenty. Kya kahenge Log. Sabse bada yeh rog (What will people say, the biggest disorder). Somebody once said to me that expectations are disappointments in the making. The burden of these expectation creates a false sense of how things should be.

It’s alright to have expectations. However, you also need to accept that they won’t always come through. It’s best to be prepared in case what you expect doesn’t happen. Liberate yourself from the trap these expectations lay. It’s a beautiful journey from there on.

 “Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack.”
― Brandon Sanderson

The post Great Expectations appeared first on Raising Rehaan.

“What are your choices when someone puts a gun to your head?

What are you talking about? You do what they say or they shoot you.

WRONG. You take the gun, or you pull out a bigger one. Or, you call their bluff. Or, you do any one of a hundred and forty-six other things.”

If you are a Harvey Specter fan, there is no way you would not remember this quote. For those who have not seen or met him, he is the very enigmatic, a little arrogant, extremely sassy, a hot-shot attorney from NYC from SUITS.

As Harvey implies, Life is about choices. From what to wear to work to what to order for dinner. From which stream to pursue in college to which job offer to accept. From which guy to date to what kind of wedding to plan. From being stressed and depressed to looking at the small things that bring a smile to your face. From complaining about what you don’t have to appreciating what you are blessed with. The choices you make define and shape your future.

When I finished school, I had two choices – to either get enrolled in the most happening college (yes, those were the days when 99% wasn’t the eligibility criteria) and enjoy the much-hyped college days or dive into a career and make a head start so I could help support my family. Today If I have nothing to contribute to those “Oh those were the college days when..” it is because I made a choice at that juncture of life. And I am mighty proud of that choice because it gave me a far greater purpose and satisfaction than any canteen get-togethers or college fests would’ve.

When I started my parenthood journey, I made a choice. A decision to give my career a break and head in a different direction. Influenced by factors beyond my control, I quit the job I was supposed to return post maternity break. I could have opted to hire a care-giver or day-care but I chose to spend time with my child (I have deep respect for those who choose to resume work assisted by an outside aid, it’s not easy leaving a piece of you behind in charge of someone else). After having spent over a decade specialising in my field and finally reaching a meaningful place (with all the time, energy and effort put in), I decided to take a sabbatical so I could spend these crucial few years raising my son. It, by far, has been the toughest decision (more on that later). And also the most rewarding one too.

Those were my choices, my decisions. Even if there were external factors influencing or governing my situation, it was still me who decided what I wanted to do.

Everything you do and don’t do defines what your tomorrow will look like.  The choice you make will be responsible for the action you take. And your actions will, in turn, lead to the results and the outcomes. Whatever you decide will have consequences. In short – your future.

Life is not a bed of roses and there will be times you will come across situations which are difficult. There will be obstacles along the way. You can either choose to use those obstacles as stepping stones to forge ahead or you take them as a sign of a dead end and give up on your journey. The most successful people are those who make a choice to face those challenges head-on.

The only choice people don’t have is to go back and change the choices they made in the past.

Choose wisely.

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